It’s hardly an original problem, but it’s one that I want to go away. My best friend in the world is a woman that I’ve known for many years. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s kind and charming, and she’s beautiful. We have a huge amount of fun together as mates. I really and sincerely hope that she’s a close friend for the rest of my life.

But, as the title would suggest, I caught feelings. This happened a while ago- years, in fact. I really want to make it clear that for me, the ideal situation for me is to fall out of love again, not for her to want to get together with me. I want to be able to pursue other people, and I want to be supportive when she dates others. But at the moment I get jealous when I have zero right to be, and I can’t even think about other women in that way. Hell, even when I hook up I feel guilty about it, as if I’m betraying her in some stupid way. I haven’t always felt this way about things, but it’s been around 4 years- well over half the time that I’ve known her.

Essentially, I know that there’s no easy advice other than to suck it up. Letting her know isn’t an option because she’s also my roommate. Just needed to vent.