I've never been more insecure than now. I have so much anxiety constantly about things going wrong. I feel like my body and my brain aren't in my control, things just happen and then my mind rushes in and suddenly I'm aware of what's happening and I'm telling you I want to leave or that I'm giving up or that I'm going to drive away from everything I have to deal with. This time I told you I can't see a future with you. Why did I say that? It's not the truth, why do I say it? Why do I push good things away? I said I wouldn't run away again and then I did it. And did it again. I don't deserve another chance. You've given me one. The last one. Or maybe just the chance at a chance. I know it isn't deserved.

Look at what you wrote. Read this again. You can't say you want to leave if you don't truly want that. You're hurting him. He won't always let you back. Be better. This is the last chance you'll get. Respect your own word. He deserves better. You deserve better. Believe in your truth.