Hi. I wanna start by saying that english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.

I don't know why I do the things that I do. In my relationships (girlfriend & friends) I'm always doing dumb shit. I always play the victim, always complaining about something, being mean for no reason. In the past week, all me and my GF did was fight because of me. I always get mad for no damn reason, because she takes too long to reply to my texts (this is a LDR btw), doesn't give me the attention I WANT. It's always like that, always me needing something. Then we talk about it and that's it. And then again we started fighting bc of the dumbest reasons, again, my fault. And when i realize that I fucked up, I start getting mad, hating myself, victimizing, overreacting because I feel like I'm destroying my relationship. This happened with ex friends too. When this happens it feels like an epiphany (?) not sure if this is the exact word but i feel lost. I always thought it was their fault when in reality it was mine.

I honestly dont know what to do. I fear my GF might leave me bc I keep disappointing her. I need help and I dont't know how to get it.