I don't even know if this is the place to say this, but I just need to talk about it, and maybe someone can help.

So I've been with this girl since 2011. This had been since we were teenagers, and as far as I know, we were each other's first. We've been relatively active sexually, and generally nothing has been a problem, that I'm aware of. She's shy about talking about sex, but I thought we were relatively open with each other, and I always tried to make sure i wasn't doing things she didn't like.

Actual intercourse was something we didn't do frequently, on account of not living together/having the opportunity to be uninterrupted. We moved in together late last year because she lost her living arrangements, and I thought that the sex thing would change, and we'd get more frequent and have a chance to really be intimate. But she became uninterested, and we only occasionally had sex.

Then around February, it just stopped. When I try to initiate, she basically tells me to stop, though in not so many words, so I do. I try to give her some space. I ask if there's something I did, or if something's wrong, if I can do anything for her, if she needs to talk about something. She says I didn't do anything wrong, and eventually her reason was depression.

I tried to help how I could, to help her change her circumstances, since the depression seemed to be job related and due to her not being able to spend time on her hobbies. She never changed jobs, because she couldn't find one that sounded good enough to her, and she has a whole space for her hobby now that she doesn't use. She usually just sleeps.

I eventually tried to get her to see someone, but she wouldn't go because she doesn't have insurance, and there are no free clinics around. I can't afford it either, so there's not much else I can do there.

At this point she pretty much shows me no affection, and either doesn't respond or denies my affection, even in a non-sexual context of things like hand holding or kissing. I've asked if I'm the problem, she says no. She says she still loves me. I've asked all kinds of other questions along the lines of "how can I help" or "what do you need," and she just says "I don't know," like a dodge.

At this point for me, I don't think it's really about the sex. I feel like an entitled ass for getting frustrated over that. But it's really just the fact that I haven't gotten any real behavior out of her, beyond words, in the past 4 months that indicates she still loves me, and it's fucking me up inside.

Another thing that makes me feel like an ass is that I'm mentally questioning her depression explanation, because she goes out with friends and does things pretty often, and seems to have a good time like nothing's wrong. I don't know if it's fair of me or not to be bothered by or jealous of that.

When I really press her on it, she says maybe she's asexual, and again, I feel like an ass for having a problem with that, because she sure acted like she was into sex for the first seven-ish years. And I'm not an expert on sexuality but I don't think that explains the change in non-sexual affectionate behavior

I just can't help but feel like I'm totally wrong and I'm just a huge ass for not being cool with it all and being 100% supportive, but I feel like she doesn't love me anymore, and just won't say it. Like I said, I've tried to have a conversation about it, but it always ends up in "it's depression, I can't help it" or "maybe I'm asexual."

I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this. I don't know how to get out of the loop, and the way she breaks down every time makes me feel like shit for bringing it up. I've gone through so much anxiety and self-image/self-esteem issues over this. I'm so tired.

EDIT: small word choice error, didn't see it until I posted