I (M) have a childhood, non-romantic, friend (F) that we will refer to as L. L is terrible at keeping contact with anyone in general, but it wasn't like that in the beginning. We went to the same primary and middle school, so contact was easy. But we both diverge at high school. Me going to a boys high school and her going to a dual-gender school. At first we had too much on our plate to keep in regular contact, but from there it just kept getting worse.

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From being easily contactable and meeting up consistently a few years ago to literally taking weeks to reply and only catching up on 4 days of the year (Our Birthdays and 2 conventions). And when we do meet up she hasn't changed, L is still her beautiful self. But I fear that I've done something that has ruined it. Whether it is that she just doesn't see me as a friend and is making excuses or just actually oblivious I can't say.

So at the end of last year, after loosing a different friend due to other causes, I tried extremely hard to just make a strong link again. Just one strong link to see what happened. And I fear that I had become almost stalker-ish in execution, trying to contact her almost every day and going to her house around once a fortnight, so I stopped.

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I've tried to bring the subject up in our small talk but it hasn't stuck, and though we met up at the first of the conventions this year, she has cancelled meeting up today for the second. I'm just deeply worried for a childhood friend that I love like one of my sisters. I don't know what to do.

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Sorry for just dropping this here and going to bed though. Its 1am because its taken me so long to just write this in a semi-clear paragraphed structure so sorry for grammatical errors and how the information is presented.

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I know I am not, in the grand scheme of things here on a venting sub-reddit, a high priority when there are people here verging a mental breakdown, so thank you for you time and any advice would be helpful.

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~Everander