A few years ago I was living on a Lakota Sioux reservation, and a pipe holder told me I was lost. The other day I was in Atlanta and an old friend told me the same thing.. Except in the damned to hell kind of way. I'm currently am typing this from Pennsylvania where I plan to stay at least until my birthday because I want to see Amanda Palmer play in NYC... Also maybe see some old friends there. I don't know. Probably either going back to LA for a bit to visit with my friend and brainstorm about starting an off the grid community or... I don't know... I have too many options but I feel like I've been running around doing nothing for many years.. Which is true. The last job I had was Coachella 2016 I think.. Sia was there that year. Anyway it was a while ago. I've been to 4 rehabs and several psych wards since then. My life has been a conspiratorial nightmare due to various strange occurrences in my life involving visions that started coming true around my 33rd birthday among other things that I am not sure if the powers that be would want me to share publicly even though most people would just think I were crazy. But basically my existence is very overwhelming at time, and I very rarely meet anyone I cant really connect with anyone anymore. It's very lonely. Most of my best friends and lovers are dead or strung out on dope or dont talk to me anymore. Or have families and busy lives. I just want to find someone who is interested in what I have to say and willing to help me figure shit out. I have Medicare but can't find a good psychologist. The therapist I saw last kind of reaffirmed some things I was hoping were delusions but I don't know if he was just trying to appease me or if he really believes it. Plus he himself is a puzzle piece in my conspiracy theory.