Used to work together and they were connected to some very important people in the company. It started when they asked me and other staff members to feature in a company video to talk about our work. The video didn't feature any persons of colour apart from me, and the way it was edited and tacked me at the end of the video made it look like I was there to tick a box in diversity.

I voiced my concern a few times, that I didn't appreciate it, and nothing changed or happened. It was published, and I had to let it slide.

A couple months later, as we continued to talk, my ongoing physical and mental challenges became hard and I decided to open up to them about some other discriminatory language and 'jokes' used towards me in the office. This person got defensive, claiming I am taking things too personal and brought up the fact they have lived around the world and know what racism is and my feelings are due to my insecurities.

This person also made some further 'stereotypical' statements about some of the potential racist things people may say. I didn't appreciate this either as it was like I was being mocked for these feelings.

I felt really isolated after this, and I felt like I was going insane because despite the fact people had said hurtful things, despite it being intentional or not, it hurt.

I began to drift away from them purposefully as I wanted to avoid this kind of confrontation. They left the company, and today they contacted me. I explained everything that had hurt and frustrated me, saying how it had affected my mental health and increased isolation.

They got very angry, making claims I was accusing them of being racist and that it is because I am insecure of my race. I explained I wasn't saying they were racist as a person, but that they had just said some things that were hurtful and discriminatory.

They continued to be defensive, saying I was accusing them over lies and that I shouldn't make such 'claims'. This person added that I won't change the world by making such "accusations" when I was just explaining what had happened.

I feel terrible now, like I have done something wrong and that my thinking is backwards...why is this feeling so familiar?

Why won't people just have a constructive conversation, why won't people take the time to try to listen. Why am I under attack and blamed?