This might sounds ridiculous but I’m having trouble typing this because I feel very conflicted. Basically I have been close friends with a girl I go to college with for close to 2 years and I think I developed feelings for her almost immediately. She’s incredibly smart, funny, and can keep a conversation going without even trying. Just in general I enjoy being around her. We’ve talked a lot and spent a lot of time together over the summer, not alone but in a group setting. Sometimes our conversations would last for hours and hours but in my head it felt like minutes because I was so enthralled by what we were talking about. I think I knew I had caught the feels when she walked into a coffee place on campus I was studying at and when I noticed my heart sank in my stomach. Not in a bad way but in a way that everything had just changed for the better.

A year into our friendship I confessed my feelings and she said she didn’t feel the same way. She doesn’t want to date anyone right now and she doesn’t date people in her cohort but we stay very good friends. A total weight is lifted off my shoulders and I feel great knowing that we can stay friends. A few months pass without any extra feelings but they returned in full force this past fall. I want to say that I am extremely happy with staying friends and do NOT want to ruin anything because I respect her completely. I’d rather her be happy not knowing that the feelings came back than me cause more stress by bringing up this conversation. I’m sorry if this post is very long but I really needed to say this into the void because it’s been eating me up on the inside. Whatever happens in the future, I hope she is happy because she absolutely deserves every god damn second of it