Title speaks for itself, but I feel like talking about it will do me good. Some backstory; I (23M) live in New Zealand and I did a work trip to Iowa for a month last June/July to acceptance check a whole lot of our new military rifles. I met her (26F) one Friday night after hearing from a local bartender that she had been expressing interest in me. Finished the trip, stayed an extra week to hang out with her and we both (tentatively) agreed to try long-distance.

It wasn’t without its challenges. I was sceptical about how it would work because she often goes out and drinks on weekends, and being very attractive was frequently hit on and flirted with. Being a liquor rep also contributed, having a job involving alcohol obviously meant that she would be around it and young men a lot more. The time difference too, being almost a day ahead and I finished work as she was going to bed restricted our opportunities to FaceTime and the small knot in my stomach of always finding it hard to have 100% trust in a long distance relationship.

But we persevered, I went back in November, she visited me and met my parents in March and I just went back for 3 weeks late this July. But ever since, it hasn’t felt the same. It’s like my feelings slowly eroded over time and I was finding it easier to not talk to her and to be unhappy. We always said we’d make it work no matter what, but I felt like I was looking through rose tinted glasses.

We argued again yesterday afternoon and ended the talk somewhat more positive. But after we ended the call, something inside me broke. I told her I wanted time and she agreed to give me space. She always said if we broke up she didn’t want to do it on FaceTime, even thought I’d much rather do that because it’s dignified and respectful. I messaged her this morning and told her I couldn’t do it anymore and she said she felt the same. We might talk in a couple days to say hi, but I guess I never really expected to actually break up. It’s weird, but I’m thankful we don’t live together at least.

Sorry for the long post, but if you read it through, I appreciate it.

TL, DR; against all odds my LDR (NZ-USA) lasted over a year, but ended today.