Every day I tweet about how miserable life is. I expect nothing more than a couple of retweets because it's humorous and relatable. I don't take myself seriously, and I don't expect anyone else to.

Someone DM'ed me and asked if I was all right. That just fucking broke my heart for some reason.

I don’t feel worthy of that kind of support or care. I have isolated myself so far from emotional vulnerability that the idea is just so foreign to me, almost to the point of frustration.

I realize how shitty of a friend, daughter, sister I am. I'm negative and cynical, and I blame others for my becoming this way. Yes, my emotional growth is stunted, but that's the result of an overly-dependent relationship that shut me out for years. Yes, I have debilitating trust issues, but those stem from years of emotional negligence from the people in my household.

I never blame myself. But I almost understand why— I just can't take that. I am already hard on myself for so many other things, I don't think I could handle that kind of responsibility.

But now that I know, I have to try to change.