I guess the best way to explain this is, imagine being asexual but not just sexually- also socialy. Nobody i see outside seems interesting, i don't feel the need to go out of my way to meet anyone. Even if we have a lot in common, i find them attractive, anything like that. Everyone just seems bland. And its not them either, this mostly happens in my head. Almost like im becoming numb to human things. This was noticable for a couple years now.

That said, in the last year i've been pretty social online and i don't feel like that on reddit, discord etc. Anyone i talk to feels like an individual person worth getting to know, and i have more "normal" emotions towards them. As thankful as i am for the friends i have online, i cant stop thinking of how i'm "wrong".