I thought it had been two years since I last dreamed about you, but it’s actually only been about 6 months.

Like what am I supposed to do? We don’t know each other any more. I haven’t seen your face in person in almost nine years. I am married and have made my life better, but whenever this happens I feel like it’s 2009 all over again.

We were so very young. Does that discredit our love? You were my first real boyfriend. Do you feel this way sometimes too? I wish there was a way to find out. I can’t contact you.

I’m not even sure if it would be helpful to know. And I know this feeling of pain and regret will fade. But then in a few months I’ll be back here, and I’ll be writing again about how much I miss you.

I don’t even know what to wish for anymore. I don’t want this to stop because I don’t want to forget you, but I don’t want to be in pain like this. It’s not fair. But they never promised it would be fair I guess.