EDIT: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for the advice. I still don't really know what to do, but you've given me a lot to consider. I'm glad I hit submit today. Thank you. Thank you.

I had a girlfriend just under a decade ago. It was one of those "I think I love this woman enough to marry her someday and maybe even start a family" kind of relationships. We dated for a little over a year, and then she broke up with me over (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend after I tried to get it out of her for a week; she suddenly became distant and wouldn't return my calls, and finally she messaged me over MSN [heh, i just dated myself] and tried to initiate the breakup convo there, but I told her to call me. I went into a pretty deep depression for the next few months (this was the first of three life-altering things that happened in that month). In a last-ditch effort the following January, I wrote a letter pouring my heart out to her, and she basically stonewalled me; rightfully so. She didn't need that from me, i realized years later. I accepted defeat grudgingly, and tried to move on.

Fast forward to about a year ago: I went to one of her art exhibits after we'd started talking again. When I talked to her, she seemed like she was kind of just tolerating me, so I took the hint and left. I decided I wasn't going to contact her again. Besides, she had a boyfriend now, and I wasn't about to be that guy who hangs around hoping for a reconciliation.

Then she gets engaged, and I think "oh okay." They got married a week ago, and when a friend posted a picture of the wedding online, I saw it on my news feed and I had to put my phone down and process it. See, I figured that she had moved on really quickly from the breakup all those years ago - a fact that took me a very long time to accept - but for some reason I wasn't ready to see that. I want to be truly happy for her. But I'm not, and it actually fucking hurts to know that I'm kind of just.... existing, still hovering somewhere in single life; she's found happiness with a new love, and now they're married. It's great. Marriage is awesome, especially when two people REALLY love each other, and judging by the pictures, they do.

I figure it'll only be a matter of time before I finally work through this and get back to my own shit pile of a life (relatively speaking, of course), but I wasn't expecting to feel so strongly about seeing her get married. We dated almost 10 years ago. Why do I still feel like this?

If you made it this far, thanks for reading.