My mom is a depressive sort who also hoards. I am borderline, depressed and bordering on OCD clean. I love my mom but I hate that she is ok living this way.

I havr tried to keep three of her homes operational. I can't do it anymore. I am 27, and have struggled with every day of my life since 13 when I became depressed and gone nowhere.

After being on my own I discovered that my depression is lessened by having a clean environment, and not surrounded by trash and clutter at every moment.

My mom needs help keeping the house from filling up with trash and with lawn care. The lawn is an acre of weeds and hazardous from the failed tree planting and garden that also failed drastically. All to ve done witg a 4th hand lawn mower that is impossible to push and scary to use in anything but neutral. After struggling with the lawn I cant even shower in a clean place without feeling dirtier than when I started.

I hate to give up on my mom but I cant live in a den of depressed misery. I wont make it out alive.

Any attempts to be proactive are met with a huge sigh and not discussed again until I lose my temper, and obviously that goes unheard as well.

I'm at the point where suicide and self harm is always at the back of my mind.