Hey guys So I really need to talk about this. I’m 17/f and living in Germany. I got a real big problem rn. My mother wants to be divorced from my stepdad. They are living together since I was 2 y/o, so I guess I can say he’s like a father to me, although I still visit my “real” dad every second weekend, and he also gave me my two little brothers, and I’m very proud of them. They all get along very well. My mother is the best friend of my stepmother, and my dad’s a good friend of my stepfather. That’s really rare I guess and I’m very happy about that. But now there are some changes. My mother fell in love with her Thai box trainer, who she knows since she was 10 or so. Now my SD really is suffering and completely overwhelmed, and helpless. He reacts with aggression, but never physical. He just raises his voice whenever she does something he doesn’t like, and starts to forbid her staying in contact with her trainer or go out alone or without him knowing who she will meet. Now all it is, is one big secret hidden in my soul. I’m carrying the weight on my shoulders. I know everything, because my mother always tells me all about her trainer and how happy she is with him and how she can’t handle her thoughts about her husband. That’s not difficult for me to handle. I like the thought that my mum isn’t treating me like a ‘little girl’ that isn’t supposed to know about all this incriminating family stuff and I also like thinking about my mum being truly happy the first time since long ago. Normally I am a very strong person. I was never the type for ‘giving up’. I went through a lot of hard times, although I’m just 17. I got hit by my best friend in 8th grade. I had a ‘boyfriend’ when I was 14 that caused my mental illnesses to come back.. I had different kinds of depression, eating disorders, paranoia, insomnia, but the most stressing thing is my anxiety disorder until today. I also went to psychiatry to get a therapy, but that didn’t work very well, because all I had were two dialogues with therapists in 3 months I spent there. I got my ass up by myself, and I’m really proud of that if I’m allowed to say such things. So I kinda ‘cured’ myself. I guess that’s why I call myself ‘strong’. It could be an illusion just as good as it could be the truth. I was never really sure about me or my personality. Anyways. My mother doesn’t sleep at home anymore, because she can’t sleep in one bed with my stepdad anymore. She tells me, that she sleeps at my grandparents or my aunt’s house, but it’s hard to believe this, to me. I always wonder why and if she’s lying to me. I don’t know what to believe anymore. So I just sit here, feeling numb and empty, waiting for something good to happen. But I don’t even know, what my definition of ‘good’ is. I just want my mum being as happy and optimistic as she always was, and my stepdad to stop suffering so hard. I hate the circumstances at home right now. I don’t have any siblings at home that I could talk to, and last but not least, last week my cat died. The only being on this earth I trusted without thinking twice. He was my everything and now he is just gone and I’m left alone.I don’t have many friends like 1 or 2 I guess. I like being alone. But I hate feeling lonely, if you know what I mean. However I think I needed to get that off my chest. Feel free to comment and talk to me. I’m thankful for anything. I’m serious.

Tldr: My married mum is In love with her thai box trainer, my stepdad is completely suffering, forbids her contacting him, and I don’t know how long I can do this anymore.