So, today is my birthday, and for the first time in my life you are not going to be here. You are not going to kiss me, hug me with a big smile and tell me how much you love me even if I am a pain in the ass most of the days.

I miss you mom. This day of all days I am going to miss you the most. I am sorry if I'm crying right now. I know you want me to be happy, but I can't smile yet.

Next week is going to be a year since you left us forever, and I can't really feel any happiness.

Who is going to make me my favorite food now? Who is going to sit at my side and tell me all the stupid and cute things I did when I was a child? Who is going to joke with me that I am definitely adopted because I act nothing like you...

Mom, I wish I was more like you. I wish I was half the woman you were. I just miss you so much everyday.

I love you.