I'm on the bus heading back home and I just started to tear up a little bit as I started to wonder what it feels like to do, and enjoy all those things with the person you like, and love. Every day when I'm on my way home, I always pass by the plaza of my town, and I always see couples enjoying their time together. I always feel happy when I see couples just doing their thing, but in recent days seeing them makes me feel sad, and hopeless as I remember I have never been in that position, and I might never be. I have never been on a date even. I thought that that was about to change recently, not only in one but two occasions. Sadly neither of those materialized. Now I'm just feeling like closing myself to love again. I still remember how happy I was during those moments when the idea of wanting to share my life with someone wasn't present in my mind, and it doesn't sound that bad going back to just that: I have plenty of activities that bring me joy day after day, and that keeps my mind occupied. But a part of me wants to keep trying a bit more... But it's so draining, and painful sometimes, especially when you open yourself to someone just for that person to disappear all of sudden.

I really wonder what does it feel. I wonder how our body, and mind behave during those moments. Is it true that you forget about everything when you're with that person...

Just wanting to vent. Thanks for reading.