I’m a straight male and my best friend of the past 5 years is a lesbian. We met at work, quickly realized that we had nearly everything in common from upbringing, life experiences, hobbies, taste in music/movies/games, etc. We’ve been pretty much inseparable since.

I have never pursued anything romantic with her. She is a gold star lesbian with zero attraction to men in general. I’ve been married since before we met. Initially my wife was a little weary of me spending so much time with another woman, but after getting to know her she treats her exactly how I do…like the little sister I never had and my best friend. We even made her the godmother of our son after he was born. She was the first person who wasn’t immediate family to hold him after he was born. I would never disrespect her or my family by trying anything with her.

Last year she got married (after a fairly short dating period) to a bisexual girl. My wife and I have tried to be friends with her but she’s always been awkward around me and has expressed her disapproval many times of my friend and I hanging out together, especially alone.

Still, I was the best man in the wedding. Towards the end of the reception, my friend and I were dancing, and the wife jumps in to dance with me. No big deal until she yells “Kiss me!”, grabs me, and pulls me in for a kiss right on the mouth. It wasn’t a peck…it was exactly what you picture when the words “wedding” and “kiss” are used in the same sentence. I froze. I didn’t reciprocate, but I also didn’t feel I could shove the bride on her ass in the middle of the wedding reception. I first looked around and didn’t see my wife…thankfully she had stepped outside and missed it. I then locked eyes with my friend not knowing what to expect. She just kind of awkwardly laughed and walked off. We haven’t spoke about this since.

Since then things have been awkward. Her wife will be friendly towards me and invite us over, but then get really mad if she and I spend too much time together. We also used to play video games together online regularly - her wife stopped allowing that. She can still play, just not with me. The only times we’ve hung out alone since, she’s lied to her wife about being with me.

Despite that, her wife has complimented me multiple times lately on my appearance (I’ve been consistently working out and watching my diet over the past few months). My friend even randomly told me her wife wouldn’t shut up about how great my arms looked while I was holding my son the last time they came over.

Last month the wife was out of town for work, but my friend genuinely needed help with something urgent, so I went over. She called her wife to inform her, and she went ballistic. Calling me my friend’s “husband”, saying I’m really her soulmate, etc. She dropped the “him or me” ultimatum. Sadly, a friendship isn’t more important than a marriage.

When we spoke about it, she admitted her wife has a thing for me, and simply can’t believe there’s nothing going on. She finds both of us attractive, therefore we must find each other attractive. She can’t control herself around me, therefore we can’t control ourselves around each other. She can’t comprehend that her wife doesn’t find men attractive at all, and can’t believe that I’d never let myself look at my friend that way.

It’s been a month. No calls, no texts, not even an instagram reel.

I’m depressed. My wife is pissed. My son misses his “aunt”.