Have been dating my gf now for over 9 years. In the beginning of our relationship we both were toxic but over time we kind of grew up in the sense of careers. This gave me purpose and propelled me to be a better person. I was 25 when I met her and she was 20. With me growing up came me not partying, hanging out with friends with bad intentions, I cut off all female friends and I honestly deleted social media. Back now in church and got a mentor & things are looking good from my point of view. Honestly think at this point I was ready to get married until ..

I have a partner who has a good career and with this career & pay it’s changed her to think that she’s better than other ppl. She has a good heart but was raised rich & in moments it shows. To her dad & like most dads, she’s an angel but I hold her accountable for things like being late to work when she wants to stay up at night to do the most random things, handling herself in social situations & manners. Like she would walk right in front of someone and not say excuse me or graze someone and say to me “that person was in my way”. I hold her accountable on the cleanliness of her side of chores. I try to give analogies and comparisons so when it’s our time to have kids, how can she get mad at them for not cleaning if she doesn’t. I don’t want to make it seem like I don’t have chores either. I’ll give an example I cut the grass and throw out trash & she washes dishes. I know if I don’t cut the grass HOA will fine us and leave letters on our door, so I stay on top of things. She will let dishes sit in the sink for days and wonder why we might have ants or flies in the house. I can never tell her nothing bc she feels attacked & sometimes I’ll just do the dishes too, but I feel like that’s enabling that behavior rather than fixing it. When I bring it to her attention there’s an argument of me calling her out on it as opposed to doing it so I won’t have to call it out in the first place. Somewhere I read that’s a form of manipulation on her part but I’m not well versed in those types of psychology terms.

Not really sure what to do because I’m at a point in life where if this isn’t the person I should be with, then I’m wasting time & im honestly sort of lost if I were to break up with her bc not only am I used to her, there is love. She’s a great girlfriend but lacks in accountability.