So I(M28) and my fiancée (31) have recently had a conversation about inviting another woman into our sex life(yes this conversation was initiated by me). She has always admitted that she was bisexual/bicurious too. It is something that I’ve always been interested in(threesomes, soft swapping w/ couples, and full swapping) but was never in a relationship that I was comfortable trying this with or even talking about it.

I have a different relationship with sex than most people. I have had sex with many friends that were women(and strangers) and was able to maintain friendships with them afterwards. But for her sex has always been tied to an emotional relationship; Someone she cares about. But for me it doesn’t have to be that way. Just to preface; we have a lot of sex and we’re always trying new things together. The sex that we have together is definitely special because I love her and genuinely care for her.

Now, her and I have been together for almost 6 years and we’ve lived together for 5 years, our wedding is 3 months away. I can confidently say that this is by far the best/strongest relationship I’ve ever been in. We have always had great communication, trust, honesty and a great sex life(seriously she’s the one for me). Which is why I felt comfortable bringing up this desire to her. She felt caught off guard by it since everything has been going great for so long, and I have been dropping hints for the last year or two but maybe she thought I was joking. We discussed pretty much every possible scenario, our personal boundaries, and she was willing to try it for me.

We downloaded FEELD, and after swiping around and talking with a few people and couples we had finally found someone that we were both interested in. We all three have the same hobbies, enjoy the same shit. It started by me talking to her alone then eventually graduated to a group text to include my fiancée. We were all getting on very well so we met for a lunch date. It went really well and we both agreed that we’d stop looking around and focus on her. After about a week of back and forth flirting, talking we went out for another date and this time she invited us both back to her place afterwards. We obliged and went over. It started with some flirty fun and they both were having a great time teasing me and playing with each other. It ended with both of them pleasing me and that was it. We all talked afterwards about what we liked and disliked and agreed that we all had fun and wanted to take it further next time.

My fiancée and I leave together and we were discussing the night privately. We both agreed that it was fun, hot, respectful and that we’d like to do it again. A few days later my fiancée felt troubled by the whole ordeal and wants to cease all action after we actually all have sex together just to see if things change. Obviously I would like for this to continue and I thought we were on the same page for a while but something switched and she’s no longer interested in it. We’ve tried to have a few conversations about it and we both just feel that each other isn’t understanding. I’ve tried listening to her and asking all sorts of questions about her feelings and what was going on but she just says that she doesn’t want this anymore. She recently said that it makes her feel like less of a woman, that she’s not good enough for me, or our sex is boring(absolutely none of which is true for me) I’ve been trying to validate her feelings and reassure her that this is just purely a sexual relationship with this woman and there are no emotions tied to it for me.

What am I supposed to do here? I do love her and want to spend my life with this woman but the idea of only having sex with one person forever is terrifying to me, even if it’s great.