I’m just worn out. I know I’m not even close to alone in this regard, this probably applies to the vast majority of people in general, but I am just worn the fuck out.

Last week, I found myself so utterly worn out and sad that I could barely even finish a day of work. I worked a grand total of 12 hours. As a working class person, I can’t afford to work that little, but here I am, just exhausted and burnt out, that I said “fuck it” and basically threw in the towel for the week.

I don’t know what will make it better right now. I guess the hope of a better future. I’m single and don’t want kids. I just feel like I’m repeating the same day over and over and over again. “Find your passion”. I don’t even know if I have a “passion”. My passion is just living life one day at a time, somehow hoping something new and exciting will just pop up in my life (on rare occasions, that does happen. But it’s incredibly uncommon).

My escape from all of this used to be time with my friends. But we’re all older now, and many of my former friends are now not in my life, and the ones that are, are either parents or live a good distance from me (45 minutes to an hour).

I have sadly lost a LOT of family over the last decade. So much so that I just basically go numb when I hear “oh sorry 2057Champs_ uncle x has died, or your cousin Y has died”.

I guess I’m just ranting because lately I’ve been craving a change, and I don’t even know how or where to start, and I say this as I’m about to go work a 12 hour night shift at a job I’m slowly enjoying less and less at that.