For context, I'm a 20yr old South Asian guy and grown up in a family where I'm now the only one who's single. Marriage is a huge necessity in Asian culture for loads of reasons which I completely understand, but it's something I don't ever want to do

Even though I catch feelings quick, I can't stomach the idea of ending up with a partner to love when I don't even love myself. I have a high sex drive and am weird, but I know there are a lot of positives about my personality. But overall in terms of anger issues and looks I definitely wouldn't even marry a beautiful woman if she had the personality I have. I wouldn't wish that kind of hell on her so I'd rather not marry.

Eventually my parents and the rest of my family will start trying to make me get married asap so I'll need to be mentally prepared for pushing their feelings aside and focus on building something for myself rather than looking for a partner