I am a very physical person. I always have been. I like to do things with people I care about which would be topped by sex with the person I am married to. We have been together over 25 years. First year, lots of sex. After that it would decline. We do have two kids, but they are no longer young.

Anyway, the sex started to decline after the first year, but I was on the mindset that love would conquer all. I asked her, I asked advice, I asked anyone who would listen. I ended up doing all the cooking, the cleaning, repair work. I kept trying to have faith her energy would keep up. I tried to get her to go talk to her doctor about her depression. Nothing seemed to work

After a few years, I asked about an open relationship, and she said "I don't share my toys". After a while, I pointed out that toys need to be played with. Didn't change anything.

One thing I neglected is that she only seemed/seems to get turned on by her erotica books and even then, it is rare. Even more rare that it lasts long enough that I get included. If I were to categorize it, it would be like the Hallmark channel on audio book.

So, I have more than given up on sex with her for a long while. I figure why the hell keep trying and not getting anywhere. I backed off my cooking and cleaning because I got tired of being the only one to do so a majority of the time.

So, a couple of years ago, she starts getting more into sex. No where to the level I would like it, but at least it is better.

So, we were having a casual conversation last week and she mentioned that she just wasn't into sex for the longest time. Period.

And now I am frustrated for over twenty years of frustration, for putting in over 80% of the effort, of not getting what I want and swear I need to be happy because she wanted to possess a toy she rarely used.

I am not taking my frustrations out on her but boy does it sound like an idea at times. I still keep trying to do things with her, but she doesn't want to. She mentions wanting to have sex, and I think we talked about it every day for 10 days with nothing happening.

I am just so damn frustrated.

Thanks for listening to me complain. I feel better.