It's been a while since I've talked to anyone in a relationship way. My last relationship was a huge mess and even just hearing him call me beautiful or anything sweet was like pulling teeth.

I hear men at work call me beautiful but that's only because of the obvious I'm stripping for them. I just want to feel beautiful for once without any strings attached, to be told I'm worthy, I'm special that someone out there one day will love me for me. I've always been the weird girl whether people believe that or not. I love reading books and movies, and going to art exhibits but I've never met anyone who's actually asked me what I like to read, what I like to watch, what art I admire most.

I want that deep connection. In all honesty I've never felt more alone in life that at this point.