As a new preschool teacher, I entered this profession with boundless enthusiasm and a heart full of love for the little ones under my care. But lately, that enthusiasm has been overshadowed by a cloud of doubt and despair, leaving me feeling utterly lost and alone.

In a classroom of nine lively students, one child stands out for all the wrong reasons. His constant hitting, kicking, and defiance have become a daily struggle, testing my patience and resolve at every turn. I've tried implementing various tactics, from redirection to positive reinforcement, but his behavior persists, leaving me feeling helpless and overwhelmed.

And then there's his mother, whose recent concerns have shaken me to my core. She claims to have witnessed me elbowing her child—an accusation that I vehemently deny, as I have no recollection of such an incident. I didn't know whay else to say, so I apologized to her. Yet, even in the absence of concrete evidence, her words linger like a dark cloud over my conscience, casting doubt on my every action and motive.

Yesterday, when her child bumped his head, I filled out an incident report as per protocol and spoke to the mother, expecting understanding and reassurance. Instead, I was met with disapproval and suspicion, as she pointed out more bruises and bumps that I couldn't explain. Her demeanor left me feeling like a failure, like I had somehow let down both her child and myself.

The lack of support from the preschool only adds to my sense of isolation and despair. Without an assistant to help manage the classroom chaos, I find myself drowning in a sea of uncertainty and self-doubt, unsure if I have what it takes to meet the needs of these precious children.

Despite the immense joy and fulfillment I find in my role as a preschool teacher, the recent incident and ensuing challenges have left me feeling overwhelmed and disheartened. In moments of frustration and despair, the temptation to run away from it all feels almost insurmountable. The lack of support and understanding from the preschool administration only compounds these feelings of isolation and frustration, pushing me to the brink of exhaustion and disillusionment. While I know deep down that running away is not the answer, the weight of these burdens sometimes feels too heavy to bear, leaving me yearning for a reprieve from the relentless demands and uncertainties of this profession.

Thank you for letting me get all these feelings off of my chest.