I don't think it's cheating but I know she's just upset about how polyamory is going. We got into a throuple. My longer term partner agreed to it and was a happy with my gf. Then my gf turned on us because she's bipolar and well her manic side basically said some rude af stuff. My partner thought it wasn't her bipolar side and it was real so she got depressed. I'm depressed about missing my gf but she's depressed because she got dumped? Idk lol we are upset on different levels here. I'm trying to be more on her level but I know that our gf is mentally ill and not well. So it's fine if they don't want their relationship to continue but I'm fine giving my gf space during her mania. Well fine as in I know this may happen but not fine as in I really miss her.

Anyways dealing with my partner now she is declaring she doesn't want to be poly. She went whilst she was poly with me and found a girl to fake a monogamous relationship with... Lol yeah that sucked. I needed actual help and well she wouldn't answer her phone. Her gf wouldn't answer me either. I tried with a fake number. I tried with her parents. I tried with her cousins.

No luck.

Figured I paid the bill so fuck it and I shut off her phone. So yeah she's mad about that too lol.

Fyi before all of this she told me she was going off with this girl because they loved each other in a monogamous way and were happy with that.

I was thinking ok... But I don't have a problem with you seeing her and seeing me. I even offered to let her stay at our place and I would go get a hotel for the weekend. NOPE.

Anyways the gf left and I should say ex now because she's an ex to my ex lol. She decided she basically wanted to get a good specific type of sex and she got it so she left and she dumped my partner.

I try not to laugh at this but anyways the drama continues. My partner says that she was "cheating" with this ex gf on me. That they planned it out etc.

Wtf?

Ok....

Anyways lol I absolutely have a million ways to gain revenge on this woman and I don't even care if she is breathing anymore. Literally she was just a potential to my partner and it didn't last. I'd say I saw it coming tbh lol. Anyways partner is still mad and still hits up women on numerous dating apps. Texts and calls them daily.

I try my best to be nice. I make dinner bad I clean some stuff up. I do a lot of stuff around the house tbh. I'm disabled now but I was the money in the house before my disability that was sudden about two years ago. She acts like I can snap back to what I was and well that's not happening. Trust me I'm dealing with a lot mentally and physically due to this and to top it off my insane partner trying to make me idk? More upset? I care but I'm not going to stoop to her levels of physical abuse or even mental abuse. I'll call her dumb occasionally but only when I feel she is being dumb. Not like demeaning her literal intelligence then and there lol.

Tonight she was doing it again. On the phone and texting too. She knows I have stupid super human hearing ever since I had brain surgery lol. It's not super human but it's ridiculously good. So yeah I hear her flirting up a storm with 'friends'. I go into our own room and she gets upset I'm in there because she wants to continue her conversation. Keep in mind I want to sleep anytime I go into the room. The literal room. She can talk to anyone on her phone in the car... Or outside? Wouldn't it be more personal without me being able to hear??? I have no idea what she thinks but it makes me believe she knows I can hear. So she's slow torturing me lol. The shit is I can't keep this rental on my own because my landlady already said if my spouse leaves then she does not want anyone else here or visiting. Even if I can fight this in some legal way it doesn't change the fact that it is bullshit to me. I can't really afford a place by myself because I have two pets and well they don't make it easy on me for renting. A medium sized dog and a cat.

I keep telling my partner it's fine if she finds another romantic partner but she doesn't have to lie to me or hide it. She acts like I destroyed her other ones. Firstly nope... Secondly okay ONLY maybe the first one and that's if I really want to take blame. I simply told the last that I wanted my gf to come home and do what she'd promise to fucking do for MONTHS. FYI this simple task was dishes and her clean laundry. I sent the woman texts and pics of the mess my gf left behind for me.

She still leaves these things behind for me because she believes if I'm disabled and home that I should have to take care of everything at home. Soooo cleaning, dishes, laundry, pets, groceries, cooking, utilities, phone, internet, streaming, both our laundry, sweeping entire house, cleaning up bathroom, taking trash out, taking bins to the curb as well.

I only ask she does her laundry and her dishes. Lol. I request help with the trash and if she can't then I ask my landlady for help. My disability doesn't make it safe for me to take the full and very heavy trash bins to the curb for weekly pickup.

I'm just so damn tired. I gave her permission to cheat but it seems she doesn't want permission because she wants to hurt me? It just hurts because I can't do anything to get through to her. I told her I feel further apart from her than I do from my manic gf who split up with me for the billionth manic time because of manic stuff. Ugh.

Completely a rant but I have to vent. Technically my partner has been abusive and well this shit is just her escalating the torture I guess.