My friend has another friend. You know the story, as they became closer he caught feelings and she didn't. She was kind of ambivalent about his feelings too like they'd hang out and since neither of them drive, her boyfriend at the time would come get her for their date and my friend would have to take himself home.

It was rough to watch. He used to talk fairly highly about her and always refer to her by name when mentioning her. Now he calls refers to her only as "my friend".

Which led to this awkward conversation-

M: Why do you call her "my friend"? I know her name and met her.

H: To remind myself that I'm in her friend-zone. You can't change personal preferences no matter how hard you try.

M: This isn't healthy. You turned down a date with a nice girl because she was "too tall" and the last one for "having too strong of an accent". It's like you're sabotaging yourself on purpose.

H: I'm just not over her. I'm there but I hate that I'm not tall, blonde and white.

M: Maybe you need some time to be apart so you can re-orient yourself and separate her from your identity.

H: I can't abandon her like the other guys

Well idk what to do. I think I have the answer, he thinks he has the answer. But alas we are at in impasse. We're good but this is not a topic we're going to revisit ever again.