Warning: TMI stuff.

I love my grandmother but her health is spiraling and our entire world revolves around her now. This is probably gonna make me sound heartless but here we go.

I cannot have a single fucking meal at home with my parents anymore without my mom ON SPEAKERPHONE call my grandmother to make sure she ate. My grandmother has entered her aggressive phase of dementia so the entire conversation is screaming. It's gotten so bad that I've had to take my meals and walk off somewhere else. Or if my mom doesn't have to call, my grandmother does...multiple times. My mom sometimes vents to my aunt about my grandmother's problems and a lot are with her GI tract so she can't take a shit. Isn't that a great fucking topic to hear while you're trying to eat?

When my grandmother has a panic attack, it's drop everything. I'm in the middle of trying to write my thesis then the phone rings and it's my mom telling me to drop whatever I'm doing to call my grandmother because she's having a panic attack.

I've pretty much taken over most of the household chores because everybody else is being my grandmother's nurse. If I'm not home, my parents eat out. Even if we eat at home together, my mom's mental health is starting to break and she's been getting angry or agitated. I made a small fuckup and she started screaming at me. I try to talk to my mom and she's distant. It's like I'm living with a roommate.

Now, you're asking, is my mom an only child? No! My aunt helps but my two uncles, my grandmother's golden boys (because in our culture boys with the family name are valued) are nowhere to be fucking found. When mom and aunt try to get a hold of one to ask to help pay for medical bills or send my cousins to help my grandmother feel better, he fucking ghosts. He blocked all of us so we don't disturb his fucking drinking and smoking. My grandfather has mentally checked out (arranged marriage).

I wanted to get away from my family so I planned to go see my dad's side in another province. My parents tagged along but I made the condition that my aunt has to take care of my grandmother for the 2 days we were gone. My mom only made it 45 minutes.

E: Oh yeah, my aunt's daughter's only contribution to date was suggest "put her in a home".

Oh yeah, my other uncle is ghosting too. Both their wives are absolutely useless.

We think it's the loneliness is why she calls so that's why people have to be there but she thinks people should be there 24/7. Mom tried to put her in an old person's group but she stopped going because "she didn't like the other people."