I make an effort to not be a boring person, I’m down to do fun things and I’m constantly suggesting to do fun things too, even at my own expense.

I feel like I don’t have friends. like I never get invited out anymore and no one asks to hang out with me. No one even messages me either. And when I do reach out to them they kind of close the conversation and don’t really engage with me.

I admit I do have a bit of social anxiety but if I don’t reach out to anyone I don’t hear from them and it just really hurts now. Like why doesn’t anyone want to be my friend, or become close friends with me?

I try so hard for people that I care about and I really care about the people in my life and it’s really hurting that I’m not really close with anyone in my life.

I know that some people might say find new friends but like I feel like it will just happen again. I just want to make meaningful connections with somebody and I can never get through the small talking stage with new people.

I know that some people might say it must be me and I’m really scared it is me but I really don’t think it is. And I don’t mean that in a cocky way at all.

I know some people will say they have their own lives and that’s absolutely true, that is so true but like if we’re friends why is easy for me to do friendly things but it’s hard for them to reach out to me?

Im just really lonely and I feel like an alien. when I do reach out to them they kind of close the conversation. how do I even respond to “I’m okay thanks xx” after I’ve said “hey friend what has been happening and how have you been lately”. To me that’s like a closed conversation.

So basically is there like anything I’m doing wrong, do I sound like I’m a bad person? Am I just chasing waterfalls? Is there anything you could recommend?