Recently, we talked about our flirting and how it felt lackluster. I feel like I've made some efforts to flirt more (which she acknowledged). But she isn't flirting more, or if she does, it feels awkward and not sexy.

I really think this comes to her not knowing how to flirt and I don't want to tell her "just do x and y". I want her to find what feels sexy to her, her style.

In a conversation today I found myself describing what behaviors struck me as flirting, breaking down the nature of flirting, and generally doing a lot of analysis. I was wanting to walk her through some things she could potentially do that might be flirty, and realized I was getting carried away: I was doing the thinking for her.

A week or two ago I expressed that I wanted her to find ways to flirt better. And from what I can tell, between what she shows in action and words, she isn't working very actively on it.

So, back to the conversation today, she says "You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m not gonna make excuses. I’ll put more effort in."

I feel all sorts of guilty, that asking her to think about this is making her have this sort of small, timid-like behavior. And to boot, she let me know she's crying at work from part of this discussion.

And before any of you come at me, our communication is strong. I never felt so madly in love with a girl, and she's in love with me. Nobody needs therapy, I won't break up with her, and nobody is abusing one another. This feels mandatory to explain.

So yeah. I just want to hold her accountable without feeling like a shit head, where she just concedes and emotionally breaks down because she feels like she's letting me down.