So I am 37 male. I hate my job more than anything. My management and team both make me feel worthless. The place is trash management is always mad at our work.its a apartment complex. I cleaned up arround 15 dirty diapers that were half frozen today outside our buildings. Oh and roaches are always an issue they dont affect me anymore I have seen so many. I feel like I need a cleaner happier environment. I feel like I am always failing and I struggle with PTSD from previous job as a paramedic. It almost shuts me down. I loved being a paramedic with all my heart. I can't do it anymore I let my cards expire after a work ending injury. I just want to be happy. I am no longer happy. I feel like nothing I do is right. My 11 year old daughter struggles with social interaction and she hurts. My wife does not work to stay with our daughter and keep her safe. I have a bathroom remodel I started this summer still not done. I don't sleep. I sometimes think I would be better not alive.