Ive been holding onto this information for about 3 months as I was fighting my insurance to get a biopsy. Doctors told me there is a chance I have a rare cancer. In the time it took to get the appointments setup, I suddenly began getting sicker, having this constant urge to vomit daily and constantly feeling weaker over the weeks. I didn't want to tell anyone in case the tests came back negative, but I was starting to believe it more as my condition worsened.

I decided I wanted to tell someone so I wasnt going through this alone, so I reached out to my middle school best friend. Ill be honest.. Hes an asshole. but the kind that flips out during competitive csgo or side with a bully because they are friends with his ex girlfriend, he was always was there for me when I was at my lowest and anytime his live crashed, I always pulled him back onto his feet and cheered him up.

He has been recently depressed for about 5 months after a nasty breakup cost him not only his girlfriend, he wasnt on the apartment lease and got booted back to his parent's home. I understood where he was and no matter what ways I tried to cheer him up, he seemingly just wanted to be left alone- which I did. I understood he was going through alot.

Normally I would of left it there, but this felt urgent. I didnt want to wait until I had no strength to spend time with him.

So after getting a letter from the doctors about what they think it is, I scheduled a meetup with my bedt friend and he agreed. So I drove to his house and knocked on the door. He seemed overjoyed to see me, when I showed him the letter, he seemed upset but took the news well. I mentioned missing when we played online games as kids and he said "yeah lets do that! Give me your steam and we can go play some games!"

Upon giving him it,he added me and said he'd get back to me on monday and we'd plan some outings and games to play.he said we'd go out to some fun places, enjoy malls and maybe go to our old favorite buffet.

Monday came and went, then tuesday.. Wednesday then finally thursday.

I reached out on fb tuesday, I saw him flicker online and quickly leave without clicking on my message.

Suddenly I noticed he was online across all social media, I didnt want to think he was avoiding my messages, it something so hard to imagine someone that close would drop someone in such a big situation.

Then I hopped on steam and realized something that pulled the color from me, he removed me from steam and was playing games with friends.

I wasnt sure what to do or how to act, but I know it hurt and absolutely broke my trust in him. A person Ive helped through the worst times of his life, avoiding me after admitting a cancer situation.

Im still not sure how to take the situation or how to handle speaking to him again. My doctors say there is a chance its not cancer, but they've been prepping me on information about chemo and wanting me to start immediately if the test is positive.