I’m tired. I have this heavy feeling in my heart as I’ve been realizing I don’t fit in anywhere!

I don’t fit in with either side of my family, either my immediate or more distant relatives.

I don’t fit in with my peers at work, I’m in management now so it’s a little different but even when I was at the same job as everyone else I just didn’t feel like I fit in.

I don’t fit in with my friends that I used to have. I used to have a lot of friends, not super close but people I’d maintain friendships with, go out, party, etc… and as I’ve gotten older I’ve drifted away. Even before it’s always been difficult for me to maintain friendships with people my age. I always feel like the odd one out. Then I got busy with school and work so some of the few friendships I had dwindled away, then I got busy with work and more friendships dwindled away. At this point I’m not even sure if I can say it I have any friends.

I don’t fit in with people in my culture. I’m Hispanic, but not enough for Hispanic communities. I’m too much of a coconut.

I don’t fit in with people in the gay community. I’ve never been able to maintain friendships with others in the LGBT community, I feel that I’m not expressive enough? Idk

I don’t fit in with men, platonically whether they are gay or straight. I just don’t now how to.

I barely feel like I fit in in my own apartment.

I’m just feeling lonely and like I’ve wasted my life. So many others have developed either really deep and meaningful connections that resonate with different aspects of themselves or even just superficial connections. Many others have goals and plans and dreams and something they’re dedicated to doing.

I feel like I’ve failed up. I got my masters and got a good job. I help people every day. But then I come home.

Sorry everyone for the format of this post and its scattered thoughts. I’m just not feeling well tonight.

For the record, I have a partner who I live with and we’ve been in a committed relationship for over 10 years and we have 2 cats and 2 dogs. He and my pets are the only ones I feel like I fit in with. I just feel like I’m wasting my life away.