I genuinely just don’t want to be alive anymore. I’m tired of the struggle, constantly being poor, the judgement, the resentment, the constant need to make others happy and make them feel good. I have a friend with cancer and all I want to say to them is how lucky they are but that’ll make me a fucking asshole. I wish I had the cancer and he could have my relatively healthy body. I’m tired of the stupid pointless arguments with my wife over nothing, I’m tired of the way that she just looks so depressed all the time and always. She always tells me it’s just her mental health and that’s perfectly fine for her to not be okay mentally but then my brain takes that as in I’m a failure of a husband because you’re wife is depressed and you can’t do the things she needs to not be. You’re just dragging her life down… everyone would be better off without your dumb fucking fat ass bullshit… just fucking kill yourself and do the world a favor… the world is ever gonna change and you can’t do anything to help anyone around you or yourself so just stop taking up space and let someone that can really do something about it be here…

TLDR; I hate myself, I’m a waste of space and I genuinely very much want to die.