I’ve liked a handful amount of girls before in my life and some of them I’d eventually developing deep feelings for. It seems like everything is going fine, that we are slowly becoming clos and eventually can look into a relationship. But every, freakin, damn time something happens to where all that progress seems to end.

I’m 19, and I’m gonna go a little back in time and just say some examples. In 9th grade I liked this girl since the jump, and we were very good friends, until Covid hit. After a year or so not seeing each other, we eventually reunited in junior year and got back right where we were in freshman year. To the point where we both mutually liked each other. But a week later, she told me that it wasn’t gonna work. I cried a lot, and to cope I smoked my ass off cause I had no idea what to do.

Another time is earlier this year when this girl and I mutually liked each other after a while, and eventually hopped into a relationship. After 2 months, it ended cause she was never available, and I only saw her twice in 2 months (we live 15 mintues from each other).

And now it’s happening again. I went out with a girl, and it was great, we both openly like each other, and then I had to go on a semester trip for 3 months. However, we talked everyday, and it seemed like our connection was getting stronger. When I got home I wanted to see exactly where we are. And now, again, I get hit with “let’s stay single, and see where it goes in the future”. (We’re going to the same school next year).

It’s either I have the worst luck in the world, or someone is out to get me but nothing seems to work. I’m so sick and tired of this and I don’t know what tho do anymore. Especially for this girl now, my mind is spinning, “does she even like me”, “is she talking to someone else”.

I am tired of this. I don’t even have the urge to see anyone else, and so hopeless.