And when I say close, I mean if any of these dates this week don't pan out, I'm giving up. I've always wanted to be a father for as long as I can remember. I've done everything (almost) right in life. I can easily take care of myself and a family.

But with every date with every woman with the personality of a wet paper bag, I fall closer and closer into giving up.

People say "fall in love with yourself first" and "you have to be okay with being single before you can find love" and all those other cliches.

You know what would make me happy right now? Something I could do right now that I've never gotten to do because I wanted to have a family? Things I've always resisted the urge to indulge in because I wanted to be a good Christian man?

1) Stop going to church. Stop getting my hopes up and praying for a wife and family. It hurts too much to have any hope.

2) A solid 500 mg of testosterone per week with 200 mg of trenbolone with HCG.

3) 6 high protein meals per day and get absolutely yoked af.

4) Start drinking and smokin in every bar in town.

5) Hook up with tons of chicks and not feel guilty about it either.

6) Grow my hair out

​

And just keep that act up until I die which will hopefully be soon.