So the offer came rolling in like a midnight dream yesterday and I still don't believe it. I couldn't sleep because of that weird mixture of excitement and anxiety.

I'm afraid of the people I'll encounter. It's a really prestigious school, and I'm one of the weirdos who gets turned off when things look too fanciful, and I came from a humble family, but of course as a human with materialistic desires it caught my eye...but I never once thought I'd get in, okay? I even selected the course as a "so I don't regret not trying" thing. But what the fuck, I got in.

I don't know how to deal with this mix of emotions, it's actually my first time feeling so absolutely anxious but happy at the same time. I was really intrigued by some of the modules, and prefer those to another law school's (one that is easier to get in). I thought I'd get into the second one, but this? Never in my dreams did I expect this. I did entertain the possibility of making such a huge comeback, making my family regret underestimating me, but it had always been a daydream.

So I think I'd like some modules, I'm in a good course, but why does it also feel like a faustian bargain? I've read loads and loads of horror stories about law school and lawyers, I feel like the next few years ahead will be incredibly challenging (but also completely change my personality). Would I even recognise myself after I emerge from these trials?

Can I survive?