Yeah so basically some rumors got floated abt me and my best friend just decided to leave cuz of them (which is stupid. they’re rumors) and then my ex decided to also leave. the two people i thought i could count on just left on account of rumors. my phone doesn’t ring and i don’t get texts, and when it does it’s just my parents harassing me abt school-like i’m actively trying to stay alive and all anyone can do is call and ask me for shit. i’m doing all i can to hold it together but i am so close to either giving myself alcohol poisoning and hoping it’s fatal or buying an 8ball of smack and shooting as much as i can. if i’m not adding constructively as a person i might as well not be here.

at the end of the day i’m too chicken to do anything but the feeling and desire is there.