I met this girl when I was still studying, she was a flat mate of mine and we were a lot. Through covid we were left basically alone and got to spent a lot of time together until we shared our mutual interest and went for it. We took it slow, it was natural. She was already working in banking and finance. She was beautiful to me but most importantly I looked up to her, she was intelligent and quirky. We had a great time, she would patiently answer all of my stupid question and she would vent with me about her work and loved listening to her, comforting her. She was capable of getting me out of my comfort zone and she held figuratively my hand as I was transitioning from studying to working. We shared and neared together the ups and downs of our life. Never had a single arguments, we learned that communication is key to being happy.

Finally, I finished my studies. I was offered a job far away. We had to live our life. Gradually fell out of touch. No smart working. I ended things in person, I know her life was as hard as before but she wasn’t venting with me anymore and I felt she deserved to find someone close. I simply had to do it.

She hated me. I told her I’ll always love her but I could not ask her to wait for me.

I simply miss her so much. I’ve been dreaming of being with her so many times now.

After more than a year I started to open up to the idea of seeing someone else. But I simply cannot. Tinder never worked for me, I don’t wanna bother girls at the gym, and in general I feel like nobody around me is as interesting as her.

I feel stuck and alone romantically. And I feel like it’s simply my fault