I've been trying to fit in for almost all my life now, and it just doesn't work. In middle and highschool, it was due to hygiene issues and being socially awkward. So, I decided to work on that. And I managed to fix it just before graduating highschool. I was excited by that, and thought 'Now I can start fitting in.'
We're in February now, and I still can't fit in. I've started studying, I have a job at a supermarket and I even live with others now. I can only fit in if I imitate what they do exactly and their social norms. If I show anything of my true feelings, I get shunned or yelled at. I've tried autism inclusive groups, I've tried mental health inclusive groups. No luck there unless I constantly play a part and am the person they'd expect me to be.

I can fit in to some degree and I have a few 'friends' I suppose. But it doesn't feel genuine as long as I have to mask and play a part. Yet if I unmask even a little, I seem to always say or do the wrong thing. And it sucks. I try to be a good person and do the right thing, but because I don't have the best morals and am 'emotionally stunted' according to my therapist, I always seem to miss the mark when I try to come across as a 'kind, healthy human'. And it sucks.