I’ve been in a rough marriage for the last year and a half or so with almost no intimacy or affection of any kind. I feel like I’m not even desired or wanted anymore and I just want to feel like I deserve to be happy. To be fair my wife is constantly fighting depression and psychological issues. She lost her dad a few years back at a very detrimental time and her mom has reverted to being a teenager so my wife can understandably feel very lost. I’ve picked up the slack as much as I can for the last year and a half not asking her to do almost any of the housework and not pressuring her to be affectionate or intimate. She’s been seeing a therapist for a while now to help her and working better for herself and I know I’m being selfish. I’ve talked with her about my thoughts and feelings and she just apologizes for making me feel like I always have to do so much and not get anything from our marriage in return. In moments of weakness I have contemplated cheating and it makes me feel good and bad at the same time. Obviously I don’t want to betray her but the thought of someone else wanting me is such a weakness for me as I was also abandoned as a young child. Someone recently offered themself to me and it took so much for me to refuse even though I wanted it so badly… I feel good for refusing but at the same time feel so incredibly sad as well…