I want to use the space to talk about my current situation and my worries and try to get advice from the great people over the /r/occult subreddit.

I am a young person in age still, I am 20, and I have never really thought about my sexuality before. I was always studying something or having another goal in mind which kind of made me ignore my sexuality for a lot. Over my younger years I did have feelings for men, but also for some women. But in total much more for men. I just brushed it off thinking it was normal. But this last year, trying to explore and get to know myself better I started to realize I really do like men. I could see myself kissing a man and being in a romantic relationship with a man. Me, having studied occult science for a while, this complete year 2018. I started worrying that being gay might be a sin, and something that I wasn’t born with and it was just some kind of illusion that I had to overcome. Thinking that being gay was wrong in the eyes of god and the higher powers.

Later I started thinking of it as a blessing in disguise maybe because it really allowed me to become much more accepting of other people, much more empathetic and sentimental than before.

I really liked a guy who I was talking with, and decided to see him. We kissed and I must say I liked it. I am not sure if it’s wrong. When I was going back home I started thinking that the physical gender isn’t too relevant as it belongs to the body compared to the spiritual “gender”. But I am really confused. I have read a lot of occult books and websites (occult-mysteries completely) and I stil doubt if I am doing something that might be wrong and can be a sin.

I always think that “sex is a thing of the bodies” and that maybe I am gay in this current reencarnation to learn acceptance. And that no all loving god can punish a man just by what his sexual orientation but more to how much good he does for the world following the universal laws. But still it makes me worried that I am doing something wrong maybe

Would really appreciate your advice and thoughts as honest as you want them to be.

Many thanks and I deeply appreciate it.

Best wishes,