Hi Reddit! I've used these subs for sex many times and had much fun. I haven't been as much in the casual sex game lately but I finally watched Poor Things last night and I guess it turned me on enough that I just need a good fuck, so here I am (not sure what that says about me, trying not to think too hard about it).

I'll cut to the chase: It's gross out and I'm horny and I would like for you to come over and fuck me so that 1) I get fucked (obviously) and 2) I don't have to leave my apartment.

Me: 5'4 / 210 / size 14. I have tattoos all over my arms (and one on my leg), piercings on my ears/nose, and short chin-length brunette hair that I just got cut yesterday and hate but hopefully you can overlook that. I have big glasses and wear too much black and live alone in a cute apartment in central Brooklyn with many house plants and thrifted art and lamps (people who use the big light are walking red flags). Basically, think slightly alt plant lady queer librarian vibes. I come with sarcasm and self deprecation (if that's your thing) plus a general ennui about life that tends to make me spend too much money booking flights. Busy often, manage a team at my nonprofit job, have my shit vaguely together, spend my free time walking through Prospect Park (I try to average out to walking 3 miles/day if I can). Typical Millennial Brooklynite I guess. Also, I've lost a lot 0f weight in the past yearish, which is only relevant because my body looks like a body that has lost weight. If that's a turn off, no hard feelings, but keep it moving! (Also I'm vaxxed and DDF and you should be too. I don't even drink, I'm so boring.)

You: 20s through early 40s. Physically I'm pretty open when it comes to partners. No had passes to short kings or dad bods, although I think strength is attractive so cuties who are generally active tend to make me melt (but don't take that to mean I need you to be, like, ripped). Ultimately, it's faces that I'm most attracted to. And most importantly for this, I just really want to find someone with a big dick. I like being stretched and it just feels good. In my normal life I'm not picky about dick size but when a girl has a craving she needs it met, you know? Beyond that, you should also ideally be able to hold a conversation (like, I would like to chat and get to know you a bit too), be vaccinated, have good hygiene, and smell nice (smell is so important???). Please also be SINGLE (cheaters, I can always tell if you're lying) and able to meet today (Saturday). Lastly, you should definitely be into women with body types like mine. I'm not interested in anyone who'll "settle" for me, you know?

If you want a response, chat (don't DM) me: Your age, some info about who you are, what you're looking for, what in my post appealed to you, and a photo (face / torso / whatever you're comfortable with). Also tell me what your favorite food is so I know you read this whole thing.

\I'll automatically delete any messages without photos, messages without any effort put into them, and messages that just ask me for a photo and nothing else. If you can't bother spending a minute or two typing out a pretty basic response to facilitate building a human connection it's pretty clear you'll be a selfish/disappointing lover**

Thanks for reading. :)