Hey y’all! I’m a 33 year old gay man in NYC who’s been here for about 13 years. I moved right after college and the majority of my friends here are people I met then and have remained close with.

The past year or so, I’ve felt more distant from my friend group than ever. Two of my best friends are now exploring open relationships, and while I can’t relate (I’m in a monogamous one myself), I try to be open-minded and non-judgmental.

I don’t mind that they’re both exploring being open, but the worst part is my best friend is dating someone who I don’t like and now he and his partner are both dating other people so when we get together I’m keeping track of SO many freaking details (which, again, is fine), but how does one of my best friends end up dating not one but TWO people I don’t like!?? For the record, I’ve spoken to him about my qualms with his primary partner and I’ve agreed to move on (we don’t need to be best friends as long as my best friend is happy!).

It feels awful to feel this way about friends of almost 16 years, but I feel like we have less and less in common each time we see each other. My best friend’s primary interest lately is mostly just sex or talking about sex, meeting more sexual partners, drinking/going out in FIP, etc. and I find we have so little in common these days. Lately I’ve felt more shared interests with my female friends than my gays and it’s kind of awful to feel that way because I obviously cherish my gay identity and friendships but it feels more and more different from my two close friends’ lately.

Can anyone relate? Or am I just being a judgmental old monogamous tired bitch? Have I neglected making new friends with similar interests (ie friends to go to the spa with or to yoga or on a hike or on a coffee walk in the park) to hold onto friendships that are no longer serving me?