Ok, so, broke up with my boyfriend two months ago. He deserved it. A lot. But I love him and wanted to get back together with him. He said no.

So now I’m in full-on grieving mode, and how do I cope? I go hook up with strangers to make myself feel better.

I live in Brooklyn now because I had a boyfriend that I was planning on marrying, so I didn’t need to be in Hell’s Kitchen/hook up central anymore (and prefer Brooklyn anyway). So I left.

Well—let me tell you, trynna hook up in Brooklyn blows. Ain’t nobody around for miles, and the hottie per capita ain’t great.

So, anyway, I’m doin’ some desperate sexual shit to make myself feel better. I reluctantly agreed, after resisting unsuccessfully, to a threesome tonight on Grindr when I really wanted a twosome. I show up. Threesome quickly turns into a full-blown orgy with a bunch of people I’m not at all attracted to all effin’ and sucking bareback. I’m sure they’re lovely people, but I don’t wanna screw em.

Also, my explicit terms of engagement were (1) no oral, and (2) condoms only. So that was a pretty extreme bait and switch.

So, yeah. I couldn’t do it. Had to put my clothes on and leave in the middle of said orgy. That was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life.

And I’m pissed at my boyfriend. Would much rather be having vanilla sex with him. People suck.