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I’ve noticed that many people who have visible abs and are fit still enjoy sugary treats like milkshakes, chocolate, and ice cream. How do they maintain their lean physique? Do they indulge in these kinds of foods once or twice a week, or is there something else going on?
If you see someone fit eating an ice cream cone it's likely a weekly indulgence, not a nightly occurance.
I'm 46f, have one daugher and have always managed to stay lean with visible abs - but enjoy treats. I just dont eat treats every day. I have them at special occasions like a movie, or night out - and then I try to regulate it and not binge. Most days are really focused days to fuel my body. You cant have sugary treats and ice cream every day and expect to have abs - BUT you can have a treat once in a while in moderation.
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Not saying you're wrong, but if you view sugar as "just a different calorie, but all calories are equal" this book is worth a read. Calories in vs calories out is obviously important, but quality of calories matter a lot too. I found this book in credibly inlightening!
https://www.amazon.ca/Case-Against-Sugar-Gary-Taubes/dp/0307701646