Not sure if anyone has run into anything like this before, but I’ve been having the weirdest experience ordering from Uber tonight. I’m doing some prep work for an important meeting tomorrow and decided to order some shawarma to power me through the evening.

I put through an order about an hour ago, but every time I’d confirm the order, I’d get the following series of notifications:

Placing Order…

Hang Tight…

Order Could Not Be Confirmed. Please Try Again Later.

This restaurant was only available on Uber Eats, and since it's hard for me to change my mind once I've committed to what I'm going to eat, I kept trying. Once again:

Placing Order…

Hang Tight…

Order Could Not Be Confirmed. Please Try Again Later.

I gave it a few more attempts. I really didn’t want to waste any more time looking for another restaurant to order from. I double-checked my payment info and other settings just to be safe. Finally, I noticed a change:

Placing Order…

Hang Tight…

Uber Eats™ Does Not Recommend Ordering At This Hour. Please Try Another Time.

Super weird. Usually, they specify if the restaurant needs more time to prepare the order, if the payment option I’d selected wasn’t working, or if there weren’t enough available drivers.

Given my futile attempts, and the app itself telling me to give it up, I decided to let it go.

As I went to close the window and brainstorm my back-up plan (picking up a slice from a nearby pizza joint), I noticed a change. The window updated:

Placing Order…

Hang Tight…

Oh snap. Maybe it’ll actually go through. My efforts weren’t for naught!

Order Received

Fuck yes. Alright, back to work. With a newfound sense of motivation, I started plugging away at my meeting prep.

Roughly 15 minutes passed before I looked at my tab with the UberEats order to see what the estimated arrival time was. It said:

Preparing your order…

Arriving at N/A

Weird. No estimate, I guess. I continued reading.

Latest arrival by 6/10/2026

Huh. Naturally, I wasn’t trying to plan ahead for my future by ordering shawarma for 4 years from now.

It took me a couple of minutes to remember that 6/10 is my birthday.

The app kept updating.

Latest arrival by 6/10/2025

Latest arrival by 6/10/2024

Latest arrival by 6/10/2023

Latest arrival by 6/10/1994

Okay. Weird. That last one was my actual original birth date. Before I could take it in and figure out exactly what the hell was happening, the screen updated again.

Latest arrival by N/A

Alright. Cool. They’re probably just… fixing up some glitches on the website. All good. No reason to panic, right?

I tried to go back to my work, but I couldn’t focus for too long. After a few minutes, I looked back to check on the app.

I wasn’t sure if I’d just missed this before, but the app was starting to look strange. A few things were off.

First: there was no car icon (or details like the type of car, license plate, etc.) that were showing up. Where there should’ve been an icon, there was nothing. The only details that I saw were that the driver’s name picking up the order was “His Servant.”

Second: The location for picking up the order wasn’t the restaurant I’d selected.

It was my address.

I refreshed the page and looked extra carefully just to be sure, but there it was.

Picking up your order…

And a line leading straight to my house, with nothing else on the map. I checked the receipt just to make sure I didn’t accidentally fudge up the details when I was first ordering.

Delivery Details

To his throne.

Order Summary

From [my address]

Amanda Lee 60kg

Yes, that is my name, and no, I don’t recall placing an order for myself to be delivered “To his throne”.

Shit. I see lights outside my house.

–

I’m writing this from my phone. I ran from my backyard and I’m currently in an empty park in my neighborhood.

The fucked up thing - the pick-up location keeps changing based on where I am. I’ve already seen the “drivers” re-route three times since I first started running. There’s more than one person picking up. There’s couriers coming from every direction.

I’ve tried calling the cops but nothing is going through. I've tried my family and my parents as well but it immediately goes to voicemail for everyone.

Everytime I check the app, it just says: Your order is taking longer than expected. Then it’ll default back to: Preparing your order…

I’m starting to feel a presence around me.

Fuck. This is just some weird prank, right? Am I losing it?

It just updated again. The map on the app just turned red. And the status changed.

Your order is almost ready.

Amidst my panic and hiding, I noticed a section in the order details that I'd completely missed before.

Special Instructions: Torso only.