I’m not a movie buff. But my friend Kelsey is.

Through the many years I’ve known her, she’s exposed me to a whole host of films I never would’ve dreamed of watching if it weren’t for her influence: niche horror flicks, campy action movies, psychological thrillers imported from Germany, you get the idea.

Most of the time, they were pretty great! Often they were strange. And occasionally, they were just… bad. But, I love Kelsey, and she loves having someone to watch her weird movies with, so I figured, it was the least I could do for my oldest friend.

Recently, Kels has been in a pretty dark place. Her dad is in hospice care after a long battle with cancer, and so she’s been spending most of her time with her immediate family. She’ll occasionally shoot me the odd text asking to set up plans, but it’s been hard for her to put aside time given everything that’s going on.

That was until recently - I got a text from her for something that I knew she’d commit to. There was a movie coming out that was doing a really short theatrical run, and she wanted to catch it before it was pulled from the big screen. The movie in question wasn’t playing in any of our popular local theaters, so we had to do a little research to find the closest “indie” theater near us. We found one that was about a forty minute drive from us, called the “Daydream Theater”. I looked up the venue prior to the event - it had no ratings. Kind of weird, and yet, this place definitely seemed par for the course with the types of hipstery locations Kelsey liked going to, so… I didn’t overthink it.

She picked me up from my house, and drove us both to the theater. After a moderately awkward and quiet evening drive, we arrived.

The theater looked old and run-down. It was situated in the part of town you’d usually avoid at night.

We went in, and to both of our surprises, there was actually a small crowd of roughly twenty other people standing around the lobby and lining up for the movie - likely due to the movie’s limited theater run.

Kelsey and I scanned the inside of the theater as we walked to the ticket booth. Adorned on the walls were posters of movies I’d never heard of before. Kels, who was understandably a bit low energy, was slowly starting to light up as she took in the character and flavor of this establishment.

A haggard-looking older man was helming the ticket desk. His vibe was a mix of disinterest with a dash of “seen some shit”. I could pick up on it immediately. Almost felt like he was running a business that he was hoping would fail.

He eyed the small group that’d come in for the showing.

“Bit of a crowd…” he said, to no one really, his eyebrow slightly raised. He charged us for the tickets. He then mumbled the following -

“This theater’s got a bit of a legacy that’s outta my hands. Pretty likely your movie will play, but a small chance it won’t. No refunds.”

Kelsey and I were already well on our way to the auditorium when he muttered that. Any part of me that wanted to ask the old man for clarification was quelled by Kels’s excitement of just being there. As we made our way, I could hear the man repeating the same mumbled line to the others who were buying their tickets “Likely your movie will play, but a small chance it won’t. No refunds.”

We entered the dark room and found some perfect seats right in the middle of the auditorium. No drinks or popcorn - it was always serious business when watchin’ movies with Kelsey.

Slowly, others spilled into the room and settled into their seats as well. I noticed the gaunt-looking man who was working the booth slowly walk in and take a seat at the very front.

“I’ve been wanting to see this for a while!” whispered Kels, excitedly. It warmed me to see her happy.

The quiet whispers amongst the various groups in the theater dwindled down as the pre-movie announcements started rolling.

The instrumentals of “let’s all go to the lobby” played over a basic presentation that a graphic designer could’ve mocked up in an afternoon.

“Please remember to identify the exits in case of emergency or audience participation. Keep talking to a minimum. Cellphones are optional.”

God-damn, this theater’s got it all. Posters of movies no one has ever seen and ironic pre-movie PSA’s?

“Thanks for coming!”

And just like that, the movie started. Old-timey music filled the room. On the screen was a credits list of the main cast of the movie. I didn’t recognize a single name. Kels turned to me with a raised eye-brow.

Next on the screen was the title card of the movie, overlayed on a black and white image of a detective’s office.

The title of the movie was “ ”.

Seriously. The title was two quotation marks with a big empty space in between. No actual name. The old-world orchestral sound continued. Then, the image of two men sitting across from each other at a diner. Everything looked and sounded dated. The score, the filming style, the actual set, the way the characters were dressed, and heck, even just the way they looked. Having it all in black and white didn’t help either. If it was an authentic attempt to pay homage to the movies of the 40’s and 50’s, it was damn convincing. From my very limited knowledge of cinema, it looked like something that would’ve come out around the time of Casablanca or It’s a Wonderful Life.

Just as we were all taking in the scene, the haggard ticket counter guy sitting in the front got up, turned around, and looked back at everyone else in the small crowd.

“Alright, looks like it’s playin’ somethin’ else. If this film ain’t your speed, I strongly suggest you pack up and leave. You’ve got two minutes.”

Everyone looked at each other confusedly. I whispered to Kelsey -

“This isn’t your movie, right?”

“No, Colin Farrell’s supposed to be in this,” she said back.

From the crowd of roughly twenty in attendance, I saw a couple of people slowly get up and leave. Some were muttering and complaining to themselves about the bait-and-switch. One was spiteful enough to go up to the old man to mutter a few unkind words. The old man was unphased.

I turned to Kels -

“You wanna stay, still?”

Kels shrugged. “Could be interesting!”

Anything for my girl, I thought.

I turned my focus back to the film. On screen, it was still just the two fellas in the diner, sipping coffee from their mugs and taking slow drags of their cigarettes.

The old man at the front of the theater spoke again:

“You’ve got thirty seconds. I mean it, if this ain’t your speed, you leave now. I’m dead serious.”

Kels and I looked at each other with a slight giggle. It felt like we were both telepathically sharing the same thought: some theaters take this stuff wayyyy too seriously.

The seconds passed. No one else left.

“Alright, you’re here for the long haul now,” the old man continued. “There’s only one rule for the evening - you can’t leave until the credits roll. Take that rule seriously. Enjoy the film.”

I could hear a few people snicker in the audience. The man turned and gave everyone a look, shook his head to himself, and then turned back to watch the movie.

As I’d suspected, the movie was definitely from the 40’s or 50’s. The way the characters conducted themselves - their mannerisms, their communication styles, all of it was reflective of a bygone area. It took me a bit to hammer down what the genre was, but slowly it became clear.

This was a detective story.

The conversation between the two men at the diner started to get a bit interesting.

“So the killer’s still on the loose, huh?” said the first detective. “That’s no good.”

His partner in crime, sitting across from him, snickered.

“Hah. No good. That’s one way to put it. Terrible. Dreadful. That’s how I’d put it.”

The two men shared a look. It felt like they’d been doing this for a long time.

The movie continued. I was trying my best to pay attention, but I was nodding off more than I’d like to admit. Every now and then, I’d look over to see Kelsey transfixed, as the black and white film went through scene after scene of the detectives working side-by-side to track down a killer who was on the loose. The two partners visited different interesting locations, dusted things off, examined clues, all that good stuff. It was a bit tacky, if I’m being honest. And after thirty minutes of runtime, it didn’t feel like anything of real substance had taken place yet. There was some fun banter between the two leads, but otherwise, it felt like the plot was spinning its wheels and not really taking off. Wasn’t awful by any means, just… kinda meh.

It was at this point that I saw a man getting up to leave the theater. I could see that he was trying to do it as subtly as possible, to not incur the wrath of the old man at the front. He sneakily tiptoed down the aisle, turned the corner onto the small ramp leading out of the room, and left. I don’t think the old man saw him leave. Hah - must’ve gotten bored with the movie. I feel you dude, I thought to myself.

I turned my attention back to the large screen.

The two detectives were seated at their desks in their shared office, looking over some notes.

Immediately, they were interrupted by a third man frantically bolting into the room.

“They found another body!” yelled the visitor.

The two detectives nodded at each other and made haste, exiting the room with their frantic and panicked colleague.

The next scene was the three of them standing in a park, amidst a larger group of civilians and officers. Near them: a thin white sheet draped over a presumably dead body. The onlookers were sharing concerned whispers.

The two detectives approached an officer standing next to the crime scene.

“What’s the story here?” asked the first detective.

“Mangled beyond recognition. Gentleman was in his 30’s. We know nothing else. Body just… left here, in the middle of the park,” responded the officer.

The second detective took a long drag of his cigarette. “I suppose… time is of the essence.”

Nice! I thought to myself. Finally, some movement to the story. Something beyond just… searching for clues, pondering, or excessively long shots of the two detectives smoking cigarettes.

But I’d gotten ahead of myself. The movie very quickly returned to the slow fare I was used to. Again - it wasn’t terrible - we started to learn a bit more about the detectives' lives: what their apartments looked like, what they did when they were off duty, more of their idiosyncrasies, etc.

We were about an hour into the movie at this point. I whispered to Kels -

“Do you know what this movie is?”

She shook her head. “No - it’s weird. Definitely a lot of worldbuilding. I’m curious about what it's building to.”

I was a bit groggy at this point. I was getting more and more distracted and bored.

After a few minutes of zoning out, I noticed, through the darkness, another small group getting up to leave the theater. It was a mom, a dad, and what looked to be their young teenage son. They quickly made their way down the aisles. Kels didn’t notice - she was still mesmerized by the movie. I, on the other hand, welcomed the distraction.

The haggard man noticed the family as they approached the exit. He got up and yelled out to them –

“Don’t leave! You can’t do that! The movie ain’t over yet - you gotta stay! Don’t –”

He watched them disappear around the corner and leave the room. His shouting had gotten everyone’s attention. He sighed, and went back to his seat. He held his head in his hands for a bit. What an odd duck.

Kels turned to me again with a grin. “This is super serious business,” she said through her hushed giggles. I smirked back at her.

But, I was a bit curious. Why did it feel like there was a genuine hint of panic in the old man’s voice?

I shook it off. Back to the movie.

It was a scene of the lead detective lying in bed, ruminating. Then…

An immediate cut to a crime scene. Chalk outlines of three bodies on the ground.

I swallowed a lump in my throat. Weird timing. But, just a crazy coincidence is all. I mean, I was watching a movie about detectives looking for a serial killer for Pete’s sake. All of this was par for the course. I turned my brain off and let the movie continue. The men on screen talked.

“What’s the story?” asked the lead detective. It sounded like this was his catchphrase.

An officer at the scene, who looked damn near identical to the cop at the first crime scene responded: “A wife, a husband, and their young son.”

“Same killer you think?” chimed in the second detective. The officer nodded.

“Whoever did this - they ravaged ‘em. Tore ‘em apart.”

The detectives turned to each other. The lead spoke. “We’re gonna need to catch this bastard, and soon.”

The small knot in my stomach tightened. At this point, I felt a very strong urge to leave the theater. But, as the old man had established, walking out before the credits was probably a bad idea. Hopefully it’s almost over, I thought to myself.

Unfortunately, the unthinkable (by Kels’s standards) happened.

Kels’s phone started ringing. In the middle of the theater. Something that I knew she viewed as a cardinal sin.

Her dorky ring-tone filled the room. She turned to me -

“I told my mom to call in case anything happened with dad.”

Right. Shit. I’d almost forgotten about her dad.

She fumbled around in her seat, attempting to pull out her phone.

I turned to the movie. The two detectives were seated at their desks, looking over their notes, like usual. It was a quiet scene. A boring scene.

Then, immediately, the phone at one of the detective’s desks started ringing. Huh?

I looked back at Kelsey. She’d finally pulled her phone out of her pocket. Her dorky vintage flip-phone with a heart keychain on it. Where can you even buy a flip-phone from nowadays?

The on-screen action continued.

“Who do you think is calling?” asked the main detective.

“I don’t know, but I have a feeling this is a call of a lifetime,” responded his partner.

Strange dialogue, I thought to myself. Kels finally answered her phone. I tried not to eavesdrop, but it was pretty hard to ignore the conversation. It sounded like bad news - her dad’s condition was worsening rapidly. This looked like it could be it.

She hung up the phone.

“I gotta go.”

It sounded stupid but I had to say it -

“Kels, stay until the end, I think the movie’s almost over anyways.”

Kels was emotional. “Dad’s gonna die and I need to be there with him! I’m sorry but I have to run! I’ll pay you back for your cab ride home!”

She got up from her seat and started running out. I was frozen in fear for a moment.

No.

I got up from my seat and chased after her. She was at the bottom of the aisles and briskly making her way to the exit. I attempted to close the distance.

“Kels! Wait, I think there’s –”

She rounded the corner to leave. I was right behind her.

“Kels! I really –”

I felt a hand pull me back before I could catch her.

It was the old man.

He was glaring. Angry.

“Back to your seat,” he said. “There was nothing you could do about that one. Understood?”

I was shocked. But, I gathered myself and walked up the stairs to my seat. I could hear him mutter “sorry” under his breath.

I’m just being crazy, I thought to myself. I kept repeating that in my head. I’m being crazy. All of this is fine. I’m overthinking things.

Back to watching the film, with my heart thumping like crazy.

The detectives had wrapped up their phone call.

“What was it?” asked the partner. The lead detective responded -

“They’ve found the killer. He’s holed up in an apartment. He’s surrounded. But… he’s got a hostage. A girl.”

Fuck.

The detective continued. “It’s a rookie crew of officers. They have no idea what to do next. We’re gonna need to head there ourselves, to end this madness once for all. Bring your pistol.”

An immediate cut to the next scene, which showed the main detective kicking down the door to an apartment. He entered the pitch black room, followed by his partner in crime and a rag-tag crew of young officers, all of them with pistols drawn. One of them turned on the lights.

Standing in the middle of the room was a tall man with blood smeared all over his face. His hands were already above his head. Plastered on his face was the widest grin I’d ever seen.

The officers apprehended him, pinning him down and putting him in cuffs. The villain complied, smiling all the way.

Next shot was a close-up. On the hardwood ground beside the apprehended suspect, was Kels’s vintage flip-phone adorned with her heart keychain.

I closed my eyes. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. I heard the audio of the film –

“Look at what he’s done to her!”

I squinted. From the little that I saw, her body had been completely torn apart. A mess of what used to be Kelsey in a thick pool of blood.

“This disgusting monster deserves the death penalty! No two ways about it.”

They draped a sheet over her.

“At least the madness is finally over now.”

I continued squinting through my choking tears and my panic.

The end credits of the movie started rolling over a scene of the detectives and officers standing beside the handcuffed criminal and his never-dissipating grin. A hopeful orchestral score played in the background.

As the credits of the cast and crew wrapped up, the title of the movie showed up on the screen. There was now something between the quotation marks.

“Thank you for coming!”

And it was over. The rest is a blur.

I don’t remember exactly when I felt comfortable getting up and leaving the theater.

I looked for any of the other attendees. They’d all left at this point. No one was manning the ticket booth. The old man was gone. I went to the table and saw a note he’d left on it:

I don’t have any power in this. I’m sorry.

I had to call a cab home.

I took a bath as soon as I got to my apartment. Took me a few hours before I had the guts to call Kelsey. I prayed and prayed that she’d answer, and that everything I saw was just a fucked up hallucination.

Every call went straight to voicemail. Over and over.

I tried not to think about the fact that her voicemail was just the instrumentals to “let’s all go to the lobby.” This couldn’t be real. It was just a sick prank. It had to be.

I called her mom. She answered immediately. I asked her if Kels was able to catch her dad in time.

…her dad was still here. His condition was the same - he was still on death's door and in hospice care, but there’d been no major changes otherwise since this morning. I asked if she had called Kels at any point today, but she said they hadn’t.

Everyone’s looking for her now. I don’t have the heart to tell them that I don’t think they’ll find her.

I’m not a movie buff. But for my best friend, I’m gonna figure out everything I can about this film. The cast, the crew, any other theaters it might be playing at, and how to make sure it never tampers with anyone’s life ever again.

I’ve visited the “Daydream Theater” every day for the last week. It’s been closed. No showings whatsoever.

But I’ll be there when it opens again. Guarding the isles. Telling everyone to ignore the pre-movie PSA. Cellphones off.

And no one’s leaving until the credits roll.