CALL LOGS

Everyone bitches about Monday; But why does no one ever talk about how terrible Sundays are? And guess what day it is? SUNDAY!!!

The day for the other rangers to team up for a hang out in the sweat lodge; without me. So not only do I not get the day off them with to do… whatever it is that they do to decompress from the week; I also have to basically run the camp by myself. Troy certainly isn’t going to be any use to me today. I know… that was hateful. I’m sorry.

I’m always so hateful on Sundays. It’s getting to the point to where it bleeds into my Saturday nights. Well not today.

This Sunday, I’ve taken the day off as well. If anyone deserves a glorified spa day; it’s me.

My bag was packed, I grabbed some food and headed to meet them.

It didn’t take me long to find Don, Giselle, and Haley. They walked together in a line, hips touching and arms linked like childhood best friends. Giselle broke away from the formation, concentrating on something in her hands. A twig snapped, ringing out through the still forest air like the shot of a gun.

Ranger Don spun around in surprise.

“Hey Vince. What’s going on man? Are you planning to join us, or were you just gonna follow at a distance?” He chuckled.

“Well, yeah. Why the Hell not? I’ve been super stressed out about the shit going on here lately. It’s been really hard with all of the complications and -”

Giselle interrupted me.

“Before we go any further, are we cool? Because it’s gonna get intense in there and I don’t wanna have to worry about babysitting. Like, are you cool?”

Confusion muddled the features on my face.

“She’s trying to ask if you smoke pot Vince. Are you gonna like get weird if we smoke? Because this is our Sunday ritual, and if you wanna hang you need to keep up.” Haley said sweetly; the honey in her voice not matching the ice of her gaze.

“Oh!” I exclaim; relieved. “Yeah I don’t care about that stuff. My brother’s smoked all of his life, the only reason I took a break myself was to get this job.” I lied; not about my brother, but about me taking a break. Pot’s never been my thing. It makes me too hungry and paranoid.

All three turned their heads to me and smiled at once, like some creepy Holiday display. That right there told me I was in for an intense adventure. Hopefully its better than this feeling in my gut. It’s probably just anxiety.

“I always feel unnerved around new people. The weed may actually work in my favor here.” I admit.

As we approach the clearing, I took my first look at the sweat lodge. I’m bad at describing things, so forgive me. But it looks like the largest camping tent I’ve ever seen. It loomed over all of us. I mean this thing was the size of my entire living room back at home.

“Here it is!” Hayley announced proudly. “Our little piece of Heaven.”

“Or Hell.” Giselle joked with a wink. “However you wanna look at it.”

Golden pearls of sand spilled out onto the clay colored dirt of the outside of the sweat lodge as Don swept the fabric away from the entrance. It was larger inside than it looked from the outside; a sweat lodge tardis. I thought to myself wittily.

Heat emanated off of the walls. It surrounded me the moment I was well enough inside for the entrance to be sealed. I followed suit as I watched the other take their shoes off. The sand was insanely warm on my feet.

Giselle twisted her left hand, revealing what she’d been working on. It was the largest joint I’d ever seen. She turned and smiled at me.

“OK, time to prove yourself Mr-goody- angel-always-keeps-to-himself. I bet you’ve never smoked a day in your life.” Haley joked.

I shot her a look of offense before getting interrupted, like usual.

“Green hit’s on you my man.” Don boomed as he clapped me on the back. Why are people so damn touchy here?

“Wait!” Giselle shrieked. “We gotta get the first going first.”

Before long, the inside was surrounded by steam created by the lingering fire smoke and our sweat. The fire was low, but still a decent size.

The group pulled up chairs, like the ones you see on patios ya know?

Haley’s lighter was soothing in my hands. I let it linger there for a moment, enjoying the small metal corner against the skin of my palms.

The first plume of smoke was smooth on the inhale. It wasn’t until the exhale that I felt the fiberglass sensation in my lungs, begging me to cough. By the fourth time around the rotation, on my turn, I admitted defeat and told them I was good. I’d already started to feel the head change and didn’t know if it was negative or positive yet.

Haley and Don were laughing hysterically at something Giselle had said that I had missed. Then everything changed. Their jaws unhinged, falling into their laps as they laughed.

The other rangers faces twitched and shuddered. It reminded me of a digital glitch. No way in Heaven or Hell faces are able to make those motions naturally. Waves of sweat and sweet, burning rope consumed my airways; suffocating me.

As soon as my body fell to the floor, I melted into it. The sand and clay beneath me swirled into my nose and mouth. One second later, I’m level with the ground again. Giselle helps me into a seated position.

“First time? This has somethin special in it sugar; peyote.” She cooed soothingly.

What is this? Why do I feel this way? Is this what you do every Sunday? It’s a wonder you’re all not brain dead by now. I’m not happy, I can’t understand my surroundings and I don’t feel safe.

That’s what I was supposed to say. The message sent from my brain to my vocal chords couldn’t have been clearer. I know because I put every ounce of effort into commanding myself to speak.

However, all I managed was a feeble “What in God’s name?” before my head slumped into my chest. My eyelids were too hot to keep open. Each second that I was granted vision scorched my eyes and forehead. Relief only came when I closed them.

So I did.

“That’sssss it.” Haley said. Her words coming out drawn out and angry; like a snake’s hiss.

I woke up on the floor. Saliva had combined with the dirt floor; creating a puddle significant enough to tell me I’d been out for a while. The fire had waned quite a bit, allowing me a clearer view to the other side of the tent.

Don and Haley danced wildly. Most of their clothing had been burned away. Giselle sat in a barren corner, flicking a lighter in front of the stub of the peyote joint. It looked like she burned her fingers each time she tried, but her face never changed. Her hands never flinched.

I decided to speak up. I didn’t want to be alone and she didn’t look like she needed to be either.

“Hey. It’s too short, you’re not gonna be able to get anything off of it.”

All three stopped what they were doing instantaneously to stare at me. Don released Haley mid-twirl, sending her crashing to the ground in fits of giggles. All levity left her face by the time she stood back up.

“Come with me.” She ordered. “There is much to understand.”

Now, I didn’t know Haley very well, or any of them for that matter. But she seemed different, and not just because of her altered state. The way she spoke was different, her voice and diction was different, even the way she carried herself changed. I followed her anyway though in the hopes that we’d go outside.

A woman walked jerkily through the center of the tent, staggering towards us. Her body straightened and fell with twitches and drops. Both arms were outstretched towards us, one of which ended in an infected, bloody stump.

Blood poured out of a gash on the side of her head where an ear should have been. Chunks of her body were gouged and oozing. It was as if someone performed plastic surgery on most of her body and face, then took it all away. Who the hell was she?

The projected path of her steps were right in my direction. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to see her walk past me. Even if it was only to vanish into thin air on the other side of the flickering flames.

Two men materialized in front of me. Giselle smiled and bowed her head at their presence.

“What am I doing here? Who are you?” A bewildered man sputtered with eyes as wide as saucers. He clutched his chest, then his face, then his knees. It reminded me of a frenzied version of the ‘head, shoulders, knees and toes’ song we all were taught as kids.

The taller of the two men was a calm man with wise eyes. He placed a hand reassuringly on the other man’s shoulder.

“Travis, this is all for a higher purpose. We wouldn’t have been called if it wasn’t; just try to enjoy it before you have to go back; alright mate?”

Travis avoided the man’s gaze at first, but finally meets his eyes.

“But wait, you… you’re…”

“Yep. Good old Bison Dawson, in the fles-”

Wisps of kinetic energy surround the two, shrouding them in a chaos of time and space manipulation. A third man appeared.

Travis seemed very surprised to see whoever this was, but not Bison. Bison was grinning from ear to ear.

“Lyle, what brings us together on this fine evening?” He asked.

Travis still looked too shaken up to know what to say. Lyle sensed this and extended his hand towards him to shake; which he graciously accepted. The moment their skin made contact, I could visibly see each muscle in Travis’s body relax.

“Umm.. Hello?” I said.

“Shhh! They can’t hear you; and I won’t be able to hear them if you ask questions.” Giselle whispered.

We went back to listening to their conversation.

“Travis, the time has come to catch you up to speed. We’ve been working with Danny’s team for quite some time now.”

Lyle held his hands up in defense, even though no one protested.

“I know what you’re thinking. I mean, of course I do; I always do. But you’re thinking… that my cheese has slid off its cracker. I don’t blame you. But you’d be wrong. Desperate times call for desperate measures; and its critical that we work together now more than ever.”

Bison’s once pleased features now held a look of concern.

“Is it time? Has it finally come to this?”

Travis still had no idea what they were talking about. Welcome to the club bud.

Lyle nodded gravely in response as he began to speak.

“A new World order is upon us. The God of yesteryear has grown callous and inconsistent. One snap of my father’s fingers can erase the entirety of existence. And he’s threatened it more than once. His power is waning, now is the time. I will be your God. All who follow me will be spared.”

He held his arms high, and I swear that for the briefest of moments I thought I heard a chorus of brass instruments; as if to honor and officiate the big news.

“This is fucking nuts. What the hell did we smoke? Coyote?”

“Goddamnit!” Giselle shrieked; wincing upon the realization of her choice of words. “Sorry Lyle,” she mouthed silently; waving the signal to stay quiet at me with both hands.

“Then it’s been settled. Can I count on your help with our new World when the time comes?”

Bison agreed immediately, while Travis stayed reserved.

“I’ll have to think on it.” He mumbled.

“What’s that Travis?” Lyle asked.

The man clapped his hands, instantly turning Travis’s body inside out as it dropped to the ground. There was so much blood and gore that it took me a while to realize he was still breathing. A freshly removed eyeball rolled across the floor, bouncing off the toe of Giselle’s shoe. It’s green iris stared up at me as it came to a resting place in the sand next to my feet.

“Umm… Giselle. That shit should have worn off hours ago. This isn’t a hallucination.”

Lyle’s head snapped toward me. They weren’t supposed to be able to see or hear us.

He raised a hand, bringing Travis’s body to a standing position as if was attached on strings. Wet gurgles spewed from the holes in his snapped neck as his head bobbed in agreement. To which Lyle snapped his fingers.

“Thank you good sir. See? I only snap my fingers for good things.” Lyle stated proudly as Travis’s body organs and skin corrected themselves.

Then they were gone, leaving the same wisps of static in the air as they did when they arrived.

Nearly an hour later, things were settled down. Haley and I put out the fire, while Don and Giselle gathered our things.

The fresh air on my face gave me a feeling as I exited that’s hard to describe. It brought the relief of a feeling I feared I’d never get again; fresh air… sunlight. I felt my body relax in the light of the new dawn. My legs buckled with joy, leaving me on my knees; palms upward towards the sky in a worshiping stance. The Lord had spared me, but for how long?

The others whooped and clapped each other high fives as they exited the tent-like structure.

“Same time next week Don?” Hayley called over her shoulder; wearing a sheet tied toga style over her singed bra and panties.

He gave a thumbs up in agreeance. She’d made him one to match.

In my hurry to put as much distance between myself and the sweat lodge as possible, I hadn’t noticed how much farther ahead I’d traveled from the rest of the group. At this point though it didn’t really matter did it? After all the shit I’ve been through in the past ten hours, being polite should be the last of my concern. Still though, I waited.

About twenty-five feet before they reached me, they veered to the left and started walking into a patch of woods.

“See you tomorrow Vin? I already can’t wait for next Sunday.” Haley asked.

They didn’t wait for me to give a response.

“Byeeee Vincennnnt! Now it’s time to get back to life, back to reality.” Giselle sang out.

The three walked further into the distance of the dew filled morning, disappearing into mist just as they reached the treeline.

I’ve been trying to shake this whole thing off. I looked up Peyote. It’s basically a form of mescaline. People experience all kinds of things on that drug. That’s the only thing keeping me grounded right now. The strings of my sanity cling to the hope that it all wasn’t real.

The bloodied, green eye sitting on my pillow assured me this was not the case.

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