PART 2

All I remember is my eyes opening. There is no sunlight. It seems a few hours have passed. But I’m definitely still tripping. I begin to break down in the apartment because I’m not able to distinguish what is fake from what is reality. And I can’t find Julia. I immediately walk outside, trying to keep it together because I know that some aspect of this is real and don’t want to reveal to anyone that I’m currently losing my shit on drugs.

There’s a few children in the concourse of our complex dressed in costumes playing and laughing. The area is filled with white streamers and cobwebs and tombstones and skeletons and witches. It all feels like hell. Part of my mind knows it’s just pure decorations but I can no longer tell the difference. I crouched down by my apartment door just trying to breathe. My stomach feels like shit.

Exhale inhale exhale inhale.

All I see is little demons. They’re moving in my mind in a grotesque fashion. In synch; some kind of tribal dance of sorts to where they’ll twitch and move, dislocating their necks and then would freeze, and repeat the dance.

Their faces sharply turned and stuck onto me. I look at them as a tear begins to roll down the side of my face. I am witnessing and enduring pure evil right before my eyes.

Is this what a bad trip feels like?

Is this what darkness feels like?

Where is Julia?

What is going on?

Jesus please save me.

My skin feels like it’s on fire and freezing at the same time. I try to swim out of this open ocean of pure horror. That is what it feels like. I can’t remember at which point my trip went from complete ecstasy to complete torture but I do my best to fight out of it and convince myself that it will past and that nothing is real.

I get up and continue to breathe. In and out. I can barely walk as I slowly walk into the bathroom.

I turn on the light.

“I WANT YOU FUCKING DEAD!!”

“JUULIAAA!!”

She lunges at me with both her hands around my neck. The light in the bathroom goes out. Her strength is terrifying and all I see through the void of light is her eyes. I shake and struggled to breathe as I try to pull her arms down. Her pupils. Still as blue as ever. But the white of her eye is glowing red. The blood vessels in her eyes reminding me of lightning.

Everything goes numb. I see nothing.

“Your stomach might feel little weird at first or even throughout the entire trip but you probably knew that.”

It’s late. I don’t feel like I’m tripping anymore. But somehow I’m back on the Galaga rug.

The next thing I witness…til this day freaks me the fuck out.
I see myself walk over. Towards me (?)

“What’s wrong?”

I sit there stunned. Looking up at, myself.

I was looking at me from another perspective. I am convinced I have died.

“Jules, are you ok babe?” quickly running to embrace my face. I immediately push him off and run to the bathroom hysterically screaming. Losing my shit.

In the mirror. I am no longer myself; nor am I Julia.

I see darkness.

My hands begin to tremble under the thought that I have officially lost all sense of reality and now I am going insane.

Just remember to forget that you even consumed it and when you start to feel “different” to just go with it…

I peek out through the crack of the bathroom door. I see him. Whoever he is. He is not me.

I am consumed with rage. Near evil.

Before I could do anything else, he falls to the ground.

I stay there. Staring at his body. Unsure if he’ll get up and attack me all of a sudden.

I don’t know what is going on.

I stay in the bathroom. Turn off the lights and cry.

In my mind, I’m screaming for this trip to be over.

However in the darkness of the bathroom and my mind, there was a positive energy trying to break through.

I saw my mother.

Her face emerged like a floating head in a nothing but blackness.

I could feel the warmth of her smile, the glimmer of eyes broke light through the bathroom, and for a moment I found comfort in this hallucination.

I saw how her face has aged over the years, like a rapid time lapse that seemed to be moving slow at the same time.

She told me herself, “Sundays are for complete reckoning of your week, your life, and most importantly, your commitment to Jesus Christ.”

And Now I have gone against all that for drugs.

My manic crying, gradually simmered to a few sniffles and pure silence. I could see the natural light under the door of the bathroom. And I could hear talking on the other side of the door.

I carefully got up, wiped my face, and opened the door. A headache now pounding uncontrollably.

My boyfriend was still lying down on the floor. His trip was probably ending soon.

I was consumed with so many mixed emotions from confusion, to depression, from shock, to pure anger. My face with white streams of encrusted streaks of where tears previously flowed.

I was so disoriented that I hadn’t noticed that there was another person in the apartment talking to my boyfriend. I caught her mid-sentence before I ran out the house:

“and when you start to feel “different” to just go with it…”

end.